


Then... Yes

by Wordnerd96



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Autofellatio, M/M, Massage, Masturbation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-29 15:35:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8495713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wordnerd96/pseuds/Wordnerd96
Summary: Dean's not sure if Cas feels the same way about him, or if he even can. He gets both answers one night while Cas is staying in another room in the bunker, having left his light on and his door slightly ajar.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first multi-chapter fanfic; feedback is appreciated since this is obviously longer than my other two, one of which was a short 200-word poem, and the other of which was just a cute little makeout scene and existential conversation :p

It had been a long, depleting day. It had been another hunt out of which Dean and Sam had emerged barely alive - and of course victorious. They had had to call upon Castiel, however, due to how close they had been to getting killed. He flew to their aid, and the three of them made their way back to the bunker several hours later. Once inside, the Winchesters had offered Cas to stay the night in one of the spare rooms. Since Cas knew that they both were aware of the fact that he did not sleep, he had interpreted their offer as a request for his presence in the bunker, perhaps as some assurance of security after such a contrariant day. He had obliged, and he now sat down on the bed as he switched on the bedside lamp in the otherwise dark room. Sam and Dean had each retired to their respective rooms for the night, and were probably indulging in much-needed sleep. Cas sat quietly and perfectly still at the edge of the bed. An hour passed. Then two. Castiel had virtually unlimited patience, but he tried to think if there was anything he'd rather be doing in the bunker while he waited for the Winchesters to awaken. Sleep was such a peculiar human function, in his opinion. He wondered idly what it was like to dream. He perceived Jimmy's dreams, sometimes, since he kept Jimmy asleep most of the time, but that wasn't the same as having those dreams himself.

 

In the beginning of Castiel's possession of him, Jimmy most often dreamt of his family. At first Jimmy's dreams had had barely any emotional bearing on him, but as Castiel found himself becoming increasingly susceptible to human emotions, those dreams began to leave him with a bittersweet feeling, followed by guilt that varied in its intensity. Sometimes Castiel was able to dismiss the guilt, reminding himself that Jimmy had prayed for this, had wanted it. Other times the guilt of what Castiel had taken from Jimmy, of what he'd forced him to leave behind for him, felt like it was tearing at his grace in its intense torment. Castiel had not been able to feel emotions in all of his millennia as a celestial being - until he'd taken a vessel for the first time in his existence. Perhaps that was an effect of being in such close confines with a human soul for any relatively extended amount of time. He'd noticed that it didn't always happen, though, not to other angels. In fact, it rarely happened, if at all. The first time Jimmy dreamt about Castiel, Castiel was surprised and intrigued. The dream had been about Castiel singing to Jimmy, and despite Castiel's confusion regarding the content of the dream, for he had never sung to Jimmy - he had never sung to anyone, for he had never mated - he could vicariously feel that it was the most enjoyable dream Jimmy had had in their time together. This pleased Castiel, but it had also worried him. Or rather, his own emotional response to the dream had worried him. He had been filled with an overwhelming urge to realize Jimmy's dream, to give him some of the happiness that he had demanded Jimmy relinquish in order to serve him. Castiel had been troubled by conflicting thoughts on how to proceed with Jimmy, or if he should even proceed with anything at all regarding the dream, for several days before finally deciding to allow Jimmy to wake up to discuss it. Castiel wasn't sure if humans remembered their dreams upon waking, and he wasn't sure if Jimmy would remember this one or not, though he was mostly hoping he did. Mostly. 

_Castiel?_

Castiel had smiled at the feeling of Jimmy's consciousness awakening within the body they shared. "Jimmy."

They had been alone, outside in a forest in the very early hours of the morning, the sky a bluish grey, but scarcely visible through the dark canopy of trees. The air had smelled of fresh dew and rich earth. Jimmy breathed it in deeply, appreciatively. 

Castiel felt his chest rise and fall with Jimmy's deep inhale and reluctant exhale. He laughed softly to himself at Jimmy's enthusiasm at being able to consciously smell. Then he felt a pang of guilt in being reminded instantly that Jimmy's enthusiasm was due to how long he'd been denied. Castiel had denied him so much. The only human pleasure he had granted Jimmy was an abundant amount of sleep, and even that was mostly for Castiel's own convenience. He hadn't allowed Jimmy to indulge in food, or nature, or art, or... "Your dream. A few nights ago. It was about me. Do you remember it?"

_I do. You sang to me._

"No," Castiel stated firmly. "You dreamt that I sang to you. Why?"

_I - I don't know. I can't really control my dreams. Why? Why are you asking me?_

"You seemed... happy, in the dream. I haven't felt that in you like that before. Is it something you want?" Castiel hesitated, and then added, "My song?"

_Honestly, I don't know why I dreamt it. It just came out of nowhere._

"Answer me, Jimmy." He then added, almost as an afterthought, "Please."

_Um, like I said, it kind of came out of nowhere. I haven't really given it any thought. Any conscious thought, at least. But... now that I think about it... I think that I would probably like that. Angels are supposed to have beautiful voices, right?_

"That is entirely subjective. I have learned, for instance, via my failed attempts to first communicate vocally with my charge, that some humans find our true voices torturous. I doubt that you would have that problem, however, since an angel's true vessel can perceive their true voice. You would probably be pleased were I to sing to you. However... you would receive more than auditory pleasure. I'm not entirely sure how it would work with you being a human, but if you were an angel, my song would bind you to me as a mate, and when you sang back, I would in turn be bound to you. But like I said, and as you obviously know, you are human, so it may not work like that. However, there is a good chance that it would be something other than a mere consumption of music on your part. I'm not entirely sure what it would do to you. Or to me."

_Oh. Really? Wow. So... I had a sex dream about you?_

Castiel could feel Jimmy's self-consciousness and shame, and was quick to reassure him. "No. No, you didn't understand what it was that you were subconsciously desiring. It was perfectly innocent. The elation you felt when you imagined me singing to you was pure. And besides, even if you had understood it, the desire to mate is not about sex. Angels are not sexual creatures."

_So... it was about love?_

"Angels cannot love. When we mate, it is about intimacy. Not sex, not love. Just… closeness. Some angels mate with many. Others mate with only those they are already closest to, and others, such as myself, go their entire existence without mating."

_Oh. So, you have no desire to mate?_

"Not particularly. I am not averse to it, however." _And if it would make you happy_... No, he didn't want Jimmy to think that he was offering this out of pity or guilt. "And if you are amenable to the idea... then I would greatly appreciate the privilege of reliving your experience of that dream. If I could make you feel that way in reality, it would be wonderful. As long as you are comfortable with what may happen."

Jimmy was silent for a while before he answered.  _Okay. Then… Yes. I would like you to sing to me, Castiel._

 

That had been their first time. By the time Castiel had finished singing, Jimmy had become overwhelmed by bliss. There was no mistaking what he felt as anything other than love. Erotic love. He had ended up achingly hard and leaking, and he longed for release, but was too embarrassed to ask Castiel to touch him. If Castiel didn't touch him, then he probably didn't know what an erection was, and Jimmy didn't want to embarrass them both by having to explain it. The deeper in love with Castiel Jimmy fell, the more often he dreamt of sharing their song. Castiel awoke Jimmy more often, and allowed Jimmy to stay conscious for as long as he wished before permitting him to fall under the familiar blanket of sleep once more as soon as Jimmy requested it. He asked Jimmy what he would like while he was awake. Sometimes Jimmy requested food - usually burgers, sometimes he requested they read a book that Jimmy had previously enjoyed or that Jimmy remembered having heard good things about, sometimes he simply wanted Castiel to take his shoes and socks off so that he could sink his toes into the grass. Usually, Jimmy requested right before Castiel put him back to sleep that he sing to him. It was a wonderful note to end their visits on, and the sleep that Jimmy requested almost immediately after meant that he didn't have to tolerate awareness of his arousal for long. Luckily, though it did usually tinge his dreams, he never embarrassingly came in his sleep. Instead, his arousal would simply fade with time.

 

Castiel decided to wake Jimmy, since dawn, and therefore any other conscious company in the bunker, was still hours away.

_Hey, Castiel._

Castiel could feel Jimmy's happiness in his waking, and could hear it in his greeting. He smiled in return as he greeted, "Hello, Jimmy."

_I've missed you. I mean, I dream about you a lot, but I've missed actually hearing you use my voice to talk to me._

"You like hearing me in your voice?"

_I do. You use it differently than I do, somehow. It's much deeper. But of course your own voice..._

"Do you wish me to sing to you?" Castiel could already feel Jimmy hardening in anticipation. By now, he knew this to be a physical manifestation of the pleasure that consumed Jimmy's mind when Castiel sang to him. It was an expression of happiness, like a smile or a laugh. Unlike smiling or laughing though, it wasn't something that Castiel could cause their body to do. He had tried to, out of curiosity. He had tried to lift the muscle as he would a limb, but it had remained unresponsive. Figuring that perhaps it was a purely psychosomatic reaction, he had recalled a joke that he had heard from Uriel that never failed to make him laugh, and waited for his vessel's penis to respond accordingly. Perplexingly, it still remained limp, despite the hilarity of the joke and the happiness it had incurred. It was puzzling, but he would eventually figure it out.

_Yes. Yes, please, Castiel, sing to me._

"Very well." Castiel sang directly into Jimmy's mind, since they were not outside, and he didn't want to risk the powerful vibrations of his voice disrupting anything in the bunker, such as the windows.

As usual, by the time Castiel finished, Jimmy was achingly hard and leaking. He didn't want to go back to sleep though, not after such a short visit, and he didn't know when he would next get to see Castiel. Well, hear him. He really was aching though. It was all he could focus on. Even the faint friction of his boxers was tantalizing. Perhaps he didn't need to be touched, though; perhaps if he removed any tactile stimulation, it would be easier for his arousal to ebb. Hoping that Castiel wouldn't find the request strange, Jimmy asked tentatively,  _Would you mind undressing? Thank you, by the way, for singing to me. I'm just... very warm._

Castiel smiled at Jimmy's thanks, as he always did. "Of course." He untied his shoes and slipped them off with his socks, placing the footwear by the desk at the other end of the room. He draped his trench coat and suit jacket over the chair there, then unknotted his tie and tossed it onto the polished wooden surface of the desk. He unbuttoned his shirt and hung it over his suit jacket, then undid his belt and joined it with the tie. He felt Jimmy's breath hitch as he undid his pants, but continued undressing until finally his boxers were atop the pile of clothes that adorned the chair. He stood naked in the room, and could feel the cool air on his freshly exposed skin. That must feel better for Jimmy. "Is this better?"

It really wasn't much better. This damn erection wasn't going away any time soon. But Jimmy's skin did feel cooler.  _Yes. May we lie down?_ Jimmy could feel the stiffness in his back and legs from never lying down to sleep, and the bed looked very inviting.

Castiel nodded and lay atop the covers of the bed, resting his head comfortably on the pillow. "Is this comfortable for you?"

 _Not entirely._ Shit, Jimmy hadn't meant to admit that.  _I mean, yes. Thank you._

Castiel's brow creased in concern, and he asked sternly, "Why did you just lie to me?"

_I'm sorry. I just... I am comfortable, except... Um, my, ah... My - my penis..._

Castiel could feel Jimmy's embarrassment burning hot in his face. It was an unpleasant feeling, but he didn't understand it all. "I don't understand. Are you uncomfortable with the tension in your penis? I thought this was a good reaction. It seems to be accompanied by highly positive feelings. And why is your face so hot? I don't like it. Could you please stop whatever you're doing to it? I'm not familiar with these responses, I'm sorry."

Castiel's innocence - ignorance, even - regarding the more intricate workings of the human anatomy, such as how it responded to pleasure or embarrassment, lent some reassurance to Jimmy. Castiel wouldn't judge him. He couldn't judge him. He didn't know enough to. But surely he knew how humans reproduced? How could he not know what an erection was for? Despite the faint confidence Jimmy mustered, his face was still coloured and hot with embarrassment when he asked,  _Castiel, how much do you know about how humans mate?_  

"Not very much. I don't really have any use for the knowledge. I know they are sexual creatures."

 _Okay._ Both Jimmy's arousal and his mortification persisted as he continued,  _You know the penis is the sexual organ that men use to mate, right?_

"Yes, I am aware of which parts of the body are essential to human procreation. Though... I will admit that I am not entirely clear on how exactly they are used. It never really interested me enough to look into it."

_Okay. That's fair. I mean, I had no idea how angels reproduced._

"We do not reproduce by mating. God creates us from the realm of the ethereal."

_Oh. Okay. Well, um, what I'm getting at is... I would like to mate with you, Castiel, as you have mated with me._

Castiel was slightly confused as he tried to clarify, "You wish to sing to me... with your penis?"

Jimmy couldn't help but laugh before he clarified,  _Literally, no, that would be impossible. But, figuratively, yes, in a way._

"I'm sorry, I truly don't understand."

_I want you to touch me, Castiel. I want to touch you. I want to feel your body under my hands. I want to feel my body under your hands._

"I... Okay. I think I understand." Instead of reaching down to grasp their cock, however, Castiel trailed their fingertips down their sides, over the sharp jut of their hipbones, down their thighs, languidly mapping out the smooth skin that covered their toned body.

Jimmy’s breathing quickened and his embarrassment lessened as Castiel explored their body and his own anticipation spiked. Part of him really wanted Castiel to just get on with it, but a more prominent part of him wanted to savour this, wanted them both to savour it. He wanted Castiel to explore every part of their body with his hands, as much as he could with his lips and mouth; he wanted this to somehow excite Castiel as much as it excited him. So he was patient and absorbed as Castiel slowly became more confident in his explorations.

 

Down the hall, Dean was awoken at an ungodly hour by an insistent pressure in his bladder. He groaned as he climbed out of bed in his boxers and T-shirt and made his way to the bathroom. As he was passing through the hall on his way back to his room, however, he noticed that Cas's bedroom door was ajar, and his light was on. That wasn't too unusual, since Cas didn't sleep. What was unusual, however, was what he accidentally glimpsed in the low lamplight through the small space between the open door and the frame. His eyes widened in shock at the sight of Cas lying naked – and very erect – atop the covers of his bed, touching himself. Not jerking off, but just running his hands down his legs. Dean watched, rapt at the novel sight, as Cas bent his knees up slightly so that he could cup his feet, squeezing his palms against the soles. He began kneading his feet, and his eyelids fluttered briefly in bliss. He slowly massaged his way up his body, digging into his calves, his thighs, and then reaching underneath himself to continue. Cas let out a low moan as he thoroughly kneaded his own ass, and Dean’s breath hitched when Cas moved one of his hands to his mouth to suck the full length of his index finger and then bring it back underneath him. Dean couldn’t really see what Cas was doing, but he knew the moment Cas breached himself when he saw Cas’s eyes fly wide open and heard him inhale sharply. As Cas’s lids fluttered again, Dean noticed that he himself was quite hard. Which wasn’t actually all that surprising. He had thought about Cas in that way, from time to time, but, despite the occasional indications that Cas possibly felt similarly towards him, Dean was too anxious of the possibility that it was just his own wishful thinking that led him to believe that Cas felt something more than friendship for him when he said things like that they shared a “profound bond” to try to broach the subject with him and potentially ruin their friendship. Besides, Cas had never really indicated an attraction to anyone, and he was a different species, after all. A species whose physical form was no more tangible than light, so Dean had also thought it all too possible that Cas just wasn’t sexual. Watching him now, though, as Dean reached down to grip his own cock through his boxers, he realized that Cas was indeed a sexual being if the moans he let out as he fingered himself were anything to go by. He watched as Cas moved his other hand to his cock, and it looked like it was almost too much for Cas before he moved his hand out from underneath him and let go of himself. He lay panting quietly for a moment with his palms now resting on the bed beside him, just staring up at the ceiling. When his breathing became more neutral, he continued his massage up his body, rubbing the firm muscles of his stomach, and then his chest. When he reached his nipples, he shuddered and arched into his own touch, gasping softly. He rubbed them a bit more before taking them between his fingers and pinching, then rolling and tugging lightly. He shuddered again and sighed, then moved his hands up to rub his shoulders and down over his arms and back up along the inner sides of them. He jolted and let out a startled laugh when he touched his armpits, and quickly moved his hands away. Dean almost laughed. Clearly, Cas was still pretty new to his body. This was probably the first time he was taking the time to really discover it. Cas rubbed at his collarbone, then moved both hands up to his neck and applied the same firm pressure to it that he had applied to most other parts of his body tonight.

 

 _Stop!_ Shit, Jimmy hadn’t meant to interrupt Castiel. But he’d panicked when it felt suddenly like Castiel was choking him. _Don’t – Sorry, I mean, don’t stop. Just, don’t squeeze it that hard, please. I know it’s not really dangerous with you here, but, um, it still doesn’t feel good. It’s just, necks are pretty sensitive, so lighter touches are usually better. Unless, you know, you’re into pain, but I’m not._

Castiel nodded and loosened his hold, and rubbed their neck more gently, very lightly scraping their fingernails against it, which Jimmy seemed to like much better. Castiel liked it too, but of course Jimmy’s perception of his body’s sensations was sharper, since Castiel’s was slightly dulled by his grace. He could still register every one of Jimmy’s nerve endings, though. When he finished on their neck, Castiel gently touched their face.

Jimmy was surprised by the brush of fingers and gentle scrapes along his cheeks and jaw, and laughed a little bit when Castiel stroked their nose. It felt kind of weird having hands all over his face, even if they were his own. Or maybe that was why it was weird. He was oddly aroused, however, when Castiel ran their finger over their lips, then took their bottom lip between their thumb and forefinger and rubbed and tugged on it. He felt Castiel close their eyes, and Jimmy took advantage of the moment to imagine that he was kissing Castiel, that rather than his own fingers pulling on his lip, it was Castiel’s lips, dominating his mouth. He didn’t know if angels had lips, but he didn’t need it to be fact to fantasize. Too soon Castiel had let go of their lip and Jimmy felt a pressure on his eyelids. He tried to reflexively squeeze his eyes tighter shut, but of course he had no voluntary input on what his body did, aside from how he breathed, which wasn’t even really a voluntary function anyway. _Please don’t press on my eyes_. Castiel hadn’t, really, but Jimmy didn’t want to take the chance that he would. It didn’t make him as nervous as Castiel’s initial attempt at massaging his neck had, but it would undoubtedly be an unpleasant sensation.

Castiel obligingly moved their fingers away from their eyes and rubbed at their temples, then their forehead, then moved their hands into their hair to massage their scalp. Castiel opened their eyes and they fluttered again like when he had massaged their feet. It was a very nice sensation. Then he moved his hands down to their ears, and he found that those were also very pleasant to touch, especially when he tugged on the lobes. Finally he bent their knee up again to touch their foot, but this time Castiel sat up, scooting up the bed until their tailbone squished the pillow against the headboard. He bent down to kiss their big toe before licking at the slightly salty skin that padded the back of the toe. Then he sucked the toe into their mouth.

It was a little bit ticklish for Jimmy, but such a little bit that he doubted Castiel even noticed. It was a strange juxtaposition, too, for he found that although he didn’t particularly like the taste, the warm, wet sensation on his toe was nice. As Castiel methodically repeated the process with each toe, Jimmy found that overall he liked it.

 

Dean rubbed himself gently, teasingly, through his undershorts as he watched Cas run his tongue all over the top of his foot and then use his hand to turn his foot slightly so that he could repeat the action on the sole. Dean had never really been into feet, but watching Cas worship his own was inexplicably hot. Dean felt his cock twitch and harden more beneath his hand as he imagined doing that with Cas. Cas guiding Dean to kneel at Cas’s feet as he stood over him, both of them as naked as Cas was now, and then telling him to kiss his feet. Dean couldn’t imagine how Cas would say it in a way that didn’t sound ridiculous or dickish, so he just let the pictures play out in his mind as he watched Cas move his lips and tongue and occasionally his teeth over his heel, his ankle, his calf, his shin – damn, he was pretty flexible – his knee, and as far up his thigh as he could. After Cas had repeated everything on his other foot and leg, he scooted back down the bed, further than he had been before, close to the middle so that his feet almost hung off the edge, and then pulled the smushed pillow down to situate it under his head again. Dean watched in curiosity and idle confusion as Cas placed his palms on the small of his back and lifted his hips, guiding them with help from his hands until he was pretty much folded in half with his knees resting either side of his head, his feet close to the headboard. Dean’s breath caught at the sight. Damn was he ever flexible. Probably using some angel mojo for that. Cas’s cock was now so close to his face that if he leaned up just a few inches he’d be able to suck it. Dean nearly came with barely any pressure on his cock when Cas did just that. He had to grip himself tightly at the base through his underwear as he saw Cas clench his eyes shut and exclaim, _“Mmm!”_ around the two or three inches of his fairly impressive cock that his spine allowed him to reach with his mouth. Dean slowly began a steady rhythm with his hand as Cas did the same with his mouth. God, it was the hottest fucking thing Dean had ever seen.

 

Jimmy hadn’t done this to himself since he was a teenager. He’d stopped after he’d crashed his bike with a friend and while in the hospital the doctor had told him that it looked like his back was broken. Upon re-examining him, however, the doctor told him that his back wasn’t broken, but the vertebrae in his spine didn’t lock together, which meant that he could be paralyzed if he stretched his spine too far. Getting paralyzed while auto-fellating would be the most embarrassing position to be stuck in for the rest of his life, never mind painful and inconvenient. With an angel in him, however, there was no fear of that happening, and it felt just as good as Jimmy remembered. He wasn’t gay and had no desire to have another man’s cock in his mouth, but he didn’t mind the taste and feel of his own. Not at all. Castiel seemed to like it too, judging from his muffled moans and the way he suckled at the head as he rocked their face back and forth onto their cock. When Jimmy felt the pressure beginning to build in their balls, he said, _Pull off. That’s so good, Cas, so fucking good, but finish with your hand, okay? I don’t want to come in my mouth._

Castiel continued sucking as he pulled off with a wet pop and let his head drop back onto the pillow. Jimmy hardly ever called him “Cas,” except if he was feeling something very strongly, and Castiel was excited to know what it would feel like to “come” if Jimmy was already this worked up. He swung their legs back down so that they were lying in a more natural position as he wrapped their hand around their cock again, and this time he stroked it firmly, hotly, increasingly fast, a little roughly. “Oh! Oh, God!” The exaltation seemed only appropriate in this intimate communion of two of God’s most cherished creations, an angel and a human. “Oh! Oh, de- dea-!” Jimmy’s ragged breaths kept stealing Castiel’s words from him as he tried to proclaim, “Dear God!” but he didn’t really mind as he felt their testicles tighten and his pace on their cock became more frantic.

 

Dean was stroking himself just as roughly through his boxers now, and he almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Was Cas actually saying his name? Or trying to. Shit, was Cas imagining that he’d been doing all of this with Dean, that it was Dean’s hand on his cock rapidly stroking him to completion, that it had been Dean’s mouth around it only a moment ago? Dean squeezed his eyes shut against the intense feeling and came all over the inside of his boxers with a fervently whispered, _“Cas!”_ at the same time that he heard Cas shout, “Oh, dear God! Jimmy! Yes! Yes… Jimmy…” _Holy shit, what?!_ Dean opened his eyes and saw Cas lying down, panting harshly, his hand resting on his hip next to his spent cock, streaks of come covering his stomach. He watched as Cas smiled fondly and wrapped his arms around himself, then leaned over to plant a kiss on his shoulder. Cas rested back on the pillow, still hugging himself, and closed his eyes and let out a contented hum. Dean was surprised when Castiel spoke again: “I… I appreciate that. I know I told you that angels can’t, but… Really, we can’t feel any human emotions. Or, we’re not supposed to. But… I feel things. Maybe they’re your emotions, or maybe… maybe your soul has been affecting me in some way, and I’m developing my own… I don’t know. But I suspect that, by some bizarre cosmic miracle, I am able to return the sentiment.” Cas paused. “Yes, that is what I’m saying. I love you too, Jimmy.” Dean honestly felt like he could cry. He felt ridiculous for thinking that Cas had been trying to call out his name, and he felt painfully jealous of Jimmy all of a sudden. And then he instantly felt guilty for feeling anything negative towards the man who had given up his family and everything of his own life for Dean’s best friend. Dean walked the rest of the way back to his room, and flopped down onto the bed, dreading having to face Cas in a little over an hour when he had to start the day. There was no point in trying to fall asleep for such a short time, so Dean just flung his boxers onto the floor and then sighed as he buried his face, which burned with shame, into the cool pillowcase. His alarm went off before he was anywhere near ready.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will probably not appear nearly as quickly as this one did, since I have an eleven-chapter story that I am academically obligated to finish by Dec. 5, and I want it to be good, despite the fact I am yet to really start it.  
> Also, thank you to everyone who has read and/ or left kudos on the first chapter, and especially to Renezinha for her kind comments :) I enjoy feedback of any sort, and find it very encouraging <3

When Dean came down to the kitchen after his shower, Sam was already on his laptop and eating breakfast at the table, but Cas was nowhere to be seen. Fortunately.

“Hey. You look like hell. Rough sleep?”

“Good morning to you too, Sam.” Dean was just as tired as he looked, and even though Cas hadn’t known Dean had been watching him last night, the thought of how inevitably awkward today was going to be had him tense and anxious as well as tired.

“Oh, hey Cas.”

Dean turned around to see Cas standing a few feet from Sam, directly across from Dean, back in his full suit and trench coat.

“Hello, Sam.” He turned to Dean. “Hello, Dean.”

“Uh… hey.” Dean cleared his throat as he felt his cheeks heat in embarrassment. _Just act like nothing happened. Nothing happened. You saw nothing, heard nothing. You have no idea that Cas is in love with his vessel and you definitely did not see him blow him with his own mouth._

“Oh, hey guys, check this out,” Sam said, turning his laptop around so they could see the article. “I think we might have a case just a few towns over. You feel like helping us out, Cas?”

“You don’t have to,” Dean rushed out. “I mean, you’ve probably got important angel shit to do, right?” Dean added, looking at the screen instead of Cas.

“Dean, come on, don’t be stupid,” Sam said. “After what happened yesterday? And we’re not even certain what this thing is yet, but it’s apparently killed eight people – all fairly young men ranging in age from sixteen to twenty-four – in the last three days alone. I think Cas could-”

“We don’t need Cas!”

Sam looked at Dean, startled and confused. “What the hell, man?”

“Uh, it’s just, we shouldn’t be keeping him tied up down here when he’s got better things to do.”

“Do I get any input on the matter?” Cas asked indifferently.

“Of course,” Sam smiled. Clearly he thought Cas was going to choose to help them, which he probably was.

Dean sighed.

“Dean is correct – I do have pressing matters of my own to attend to.”

Dean shot Sam a victorious smirk.

“However, I doubt that a few hours, or even one day, will make much of a difference. I would be happy to assist you on your hunt.”

Sam returned Dean’s smirk.

Dean sighed exaggeratedly, making no effort to hide his disappointment.

“Oh, quit sulking, Dean. So you were wrong, big deal. It’s better to have Cas with us anyway.”

“Yeah,” Dean muttered.

“Dean? Is there a reason you do not wish me to join you on the hunt?” Cas was confused at why Dean had protested the idea of his assistance in the first place.

“No,” Dean muttered, looking at the floor.

Cas walked right up to Dean, completely disregarding his personal space, and startled him with his proximity when he said, “Dean.”

Dean looked up to see Cas staring straight at him in that way that always made him equal parts uncomfortable and hot. “Uh… back up a little, dude.”

“My apologies.” Cas took a couple steps back.

They just stared at each other for a tense while, Cas trying to decipher Dean, and Dean trying his hardest not to think about last night and crumble under Cas’s gaze.

Finally, Sam broke the uncomfortable silence by grabbing his laptop and picking up his dishes to put them in the sink. He turned to head out of the kitchen and said, “I’ll just… uh… Come get me when you’re ready. But we should probably head out soon.” He hoped there wasn’t anything bad going on with them, but he’d rather them just sort it out on their own, hopefully before the hunt, even though he knew that that was pretty much wishful thinking. If they didn’t come to him in the next hour or two, he’d just have to suffer through the hunt with their awkward tension clouding the air.

Dean felt about ten times more uncomfortable now that he was alone with Cas. Well, now that he thought about it, he was alone with Cas and… “Jimmy, huh?” Dean blurted out, finally cracking under the weight of everything he was feeling – hurt, shame, jealousy, shame over his jealousy, exhaustion, mild confusion.

Cas tilted his head in confusion. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

Dean scoffed bitterly. “Don’t give me that. I –” He what? What was he about to admit, that he’d watched Cas touch himself – er, touch Jimmy – last night?

“You what, Dean?” Cas asked, stoic as ever.

“I… I heard you last night, Cas. Not, like, eavesdropping, I just overheard you. You were pretty loud when you, um, you know. _Finished_.” It was a reasonable cover; Cas had been pretty loud.

“Finished?”

Dean sighed. “When you _came._ You know – ejaculated, whatever.” Dean’s cheeks were burning so hot he was sure he must be a glowing fucking pink. Why had he brought this up, again? What had happened to pretending nothing had happened, that he’d seen nothing, heard nothing?

 _Shit, he heard you? I didn’t realize you’d been that loud._ Now it was Jimmy’s (and by extension Castiel’s) turn to blush as he realized that this man whom he didn’t know all that well had heard him come. Had heard him having sex with Castiel. He felt a little angry, too, to his surprise; it was supposed to have been just something between him and his angel. His mate _._

Cas was startled when Jimmy addressed him. Jimmy had been silent after their post-coital conversation in which Castiel had told him he loved him back, and Castiel didn’t realize until Jimmy spoke up just now that he’d never asked to be put back to sleep. He considered putting Jimmy to sleep now, but decided that he didn’t want to force anything on him. He doubted that Jimmy had forgotten to ask to go back to sleep. Clearly, he wanted to be awake for a reason. Though, judging by the negative feelings Cas was registering from him, Jimmy might prefer to be asleep now. Or at least for this conversation. Still, he wasn’t explicitly requesting it. Castiel addressed Dean neutrally as he said, “Well, I apologize if I disrupted your sleep. Although I can assure you I did not do it on purpose. I see no reason for you to harbour any ill feeling towards me or reject my help.”

“Really?” Dean said disbelievingly. “That’s what you think this is about? You think I’m mad ‘cause I lost out on a bit of sleep? I’m not even mad, Cas. I’m just – I’m –” What was he? Ashamed? Embarrassed? Hurt? So fucking uncomfortable he almost felt like he could literally die of it? He sighed again. “I’m just a bit weirded out by it, you know? A guy doesn’t exactly forget the image of an angel blowing himself overnight.”

Cas’s brow creased in confusion. “I thought you said you “overheard”?”

Dean’s eyes widened in an expression of horror. Oh fuck. Oh fuck, Cas was going to think he was some kind of creep. Not only had he watched him, he’d now lied about it, too. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. Dean felt his skin prickle with cold sweat as he stammered out in a near-panic, “I – I didn’t mean to! I’m sorry, Cas, I – I am, honest. I – Your light was on, and your door was kind of open, and – and I saw you – I – I’d never seen you naked, and – and I was kind of stunned, I guess, and I should have just left, I know I should have just left –”

 _What?!_ Dean had _seen_ him having sex with Castiel? Jimmy could tell that Dean was clearly embarrassed and was feeling pretty guilty over it, which was a bit of a comfort, since Jimmy wasn’t the only one embarrassed here – Castiel probably didn’t even realize that being caught naked, let alone with your own cock in your mouth would be embarrassing to most people – but, again, that was supposed to have been only for him and Castiel. He felt less angry about it though, as Dean became more endearingly flustered.

Dean, to his further embarrassment, was now fighting back panicked tears as he continued, “- I know, okay, I know I should have – but – but I didn’t, and I don’t know why, and I don’t know why I even brought it up, and I know it’s none of my business, and – and I’m sorry, okay, I’m sorry for – for, uh, intruding, and for freaking out about it, and please don’t be mad or hate me or anything, Cas.”

Cas just tilted his head and said, “Why would I hate you? You said you’d never seen me naked… So… you were just curious?”

Dean gulped. Should he lie and just go along with it? Well, it wouldn’t be entirely a lie, even if the more prominent reason for his voyeurism had more to do with satisfying something other than curiosity. “Um, yeah, mostly.”

“Mostly?”

Shit. “Y- Yeah.”

Jimmy was feeling increasingly conflicted. So, Dean had gotten off watching them. That was pretty fucking obvious, which made Jimmy feel a bit of resentment towards him. But the poor guy’s eyes were so fucking shiny it looked like he was about to burst into tears any second. Which was kind of adorable, as was the way he clearly valued what Castiel thought of him. Jimmy had been awake for a few of Castiel’s interactions with others, usually the Winchesters, though often not for very long before Castiel gave whoever he was with some excuse to leave so that he could be alone with Jimmy and ask him what he could do for him while he was awake. He’d noticed that during some of Castiel’s brief interactions with the elder Winchester, however, that the two of them were quite close – closer than anyone else Castiel interacted with, aside from Jimmy himself. He noticed that Dean liked to have his hands on Castiel a lot – just innocent things, like clapping his shoulder, or fixing his tie. They also tended to stand a little too close to each other and sometimes just _stare_ , like they’d done just before Sam had left the kitchen. Maybe Dean was just like that with everyone. Jimmy hadn’t been around him enough to really know. He kind of doubted it, though.

“I don’t understand.”

 _Really?_ Jimmy didn’t know if Castiel was honestly this clueless, or if he wanted Dean to admit it. But this was clearly bordering on painful for Dean, and Dean was probably Castiel’s closest friend aside from Jimmy. So, it was probably the former. Jimmy figured he’d save Dean the trouble as he explained to Castiel, _He watched us last night and got aroused by it. It wasn’t really right of him to do that, but he clearly feels bad about it. It’s nice that you told him you don’t hate him, but he might hate himself right now for what he did. So, I don’t know, just act like the realization suddenly dawned on you and tell him you still don’t hate him and comfort him or something._

Castiel’s puzzled expression smoothened out into one of mild shock at Jimmy’s words. He did think that, like Jimmy, Dean was a good man and would probably be considered physically attractive for a human, but he hadn’t actually given any thought to engaging in sexual encounters with him. He did share a bond with him like he did with Jimmy, even if it was fairly different and perhaps not quite as intimate, though it was still profound in its own way. Jimmy was Castiel’s vessel, his wherewithal to live on Earth and interact with humans; Dean was his charge, his reason for being on Earth and interacting with humans. Castiel had learned to love with Jimmy, and it made him wonder if, now that he knew he could, he might feel love for Dean as well. He cared about him. He was fond of him. He trusted him. But he didn’t feel what he had felt with Jimmy last night. Or was that feeling something else, some result of human mating? Castiel still felt it towards Jimmy, though, even if it wasn’t as ardent as it had been when it had first overwhelmed him. It was rather confusing, but, Castiel reasoned, it would get resolved eventually, just like the mystery of his penis had. Returning his attention back to Dean, who looked even more nervous than before, Castiel said, “It’s okay, Dean. I understand now. And it doesn’t bother me. Nothing has changed. You’re still my friend.”

Dean was relieved to hear Castiel say that. His worry had spiked when Cas looked like he’d just had an epiphany about what Dean wasn’t saying, and he quickly wiped at his eyes with one hand in an attempt to clear the gathering tears when his worries were assuaged. He was a bit disappointed too, though. _Nothing has changed._ And then, as if to drive the point home: _You’re still my friend._ Right. Friend. Of course. Dean mentally berated himself for his ingratitude that Cas was even forgiving him at all. What Cas was giving him was more than he could rightfully expect. What he wasn’t giving him was just so far out of the question it was ridiculous. “Thank you,” he breathed, so overwhelmed with everything he was feeling that he just wanted to collapse and catch up on the sleep he’d wasted nearly ruining his friendship with Cas. Hunting was going to be hell.

“You’re welcome, Dean. We should probably get Sam now.”

Dean cleared his throat as a caution against his voice breaking as he said, “Yeah,” and led them to Sam’s room.

“Hey.” Sam glanced up from his laptop from where he was seated at the desk as the two of them walked into his room. “You guys ready to go?”

“Yeah. You find out anything about what it might be?”

“Possibly. The reports all show that their bodies were pretty badly torn up, and they’d lost a lot of blood, almost as if they’d been attacked by some rabid animal. Two of them were hitchhikers – separate instances, four were found dead in different motel rooms, and two were discovered dead in their own beds.”

“Jesus,” Dean muttered. “Okay, so, something that targets young men and drains them of their life – succubus? Vampire, maybe?”

Sam shook his head. “Badly torn up, remember? Succubae drain the life force from them during the act. And by badly torn up I mean that their corpses were found covered in bites and tears with chunks just missing. And by lost a lot of blood I mean they were apparently pretty much drained dry, with the blood nowhere to be found.”

“Huh. Okay, so not a succubus, and too gratuitously violent for a vamp. Something that hunts down young men and devours them… kind of sounds like Jeffrey Dahmer.”

“You’re saying you think it’s just some cannibal serial killer?”

Dean shrugged. “Why not? Granted, you’d think a human would try to hide the bodies, but was there anything to indicate that it could have been something supernatural?”

“Actually, kind of, yeah. There was a couple who apparently witnessed the murder of the first hitchhiker. They reported seeing “a one-footed woman with flaming hair.” This looks like it could be an empuse.”

“What? You mean like Empusa, the demigoddess?”

“Yeah,” Sam said, sounding just as surprised as he looked.

“What? I know things.”

Sam just rolled his eyes. “Well, do you know how to defeat it?”

“You don’t?” Dean began to worry.

“Oh no, I do.”

Dean relaxed a bit.

“According to the lore, Empusa can be defeated by being stabbed with an Olympian weapon, such as a thunderbolt from Zeus or Poseidon’s trident.”

Dean sighed. “Great. The _one_ time we forget our thunderbolts and tridents.”

“Or,” Sam continued, “a weapon forged of “celestial bronze.””

“And what the hell is celestial bronze? They have mines in Heaven?”

“No,” Cas intercalated.

Sam looked at Cas for a brief second when he spoke before flicking his gaze back to his laptop as he answered, “It says here it’s basically just bronze mined from Mt. Olympus.”

“Really? So, how’s that different from any other bronze?”

“I don’t know, Dean. How’s a Latin incantation different from an English one?”

Dean frowned at Sam’s sass. “Alright, well tell me then, smartass, how the hell are we supposed to score that?”

“Cas?” Sam turned his gaze back to him expectantly, eyebrows raised in question.

Cas was a bit surprised by this sudden request. He figured the Winchesters might try to purchase some online. But, he supposed, anything like that that they purchased over the internet did run the possibility of being just as fake as their credit cards. Even if it was real bronze, there would be no definitive way to know whence it had been mined. “Alright,” Cas agreed. He figured it wouldn’t be too difficult to dig through some rock until he eventually struck bronze, though it was extremely unlikely that he would find enough to forge even a small weapon. Only gold, silver, copper and the platinum metals occurred in nature in larger amounts.

 _Whoa, hold up, there._ Jimmy had never flown with Castiel. Well, he’d never been awake for it. Before his trepidation could evolve into terror, he asked, _Could you put me back to sleep, please? I’m not too keen on teleporting. I had a really nice time with you, by the way, Castiel. It really meant a lot to me. You really mean a lot to me._

Castiel smiled at Jimmy’s words and obliged his request before vanishing from the bunker with a flap of his wings and apparating at the base of Mt. Olympus. It was huge, and his task would be accomplished much more quickly if he were in his true form, but he didn’t want to scare anyone who might see him or burn out their eyes. Mostly, though, he didn’t want to leave Jimmy. So he set to work digging through the rock with his human hands, which were small compared to his own. Though he was beginning more and more to think of Jimmy’s body as his own as well.

Back in the bunker, the Winchesters were debating whether they should start driving so that they could question potential witnesses and hopefully get a lead on where Empusa would next strike, or stay in the bunker until Cas returned. Eventually they decided that they would give it a few hours before praying to Cas to tell him they’d started on their way if he didn’t return by then.

“So,” Sam said conversationally once they’d agreed on what to do in Cas’s absence, “what was that about earlier?”

“What?”

“You not wanting Cas to help. He’s already proving to be in-”

“Nothing,” Dean said, a little too hastily.

Sam just raised an eyebrow at his brother. “Come on, Dean.”

“What? It doesn’t matter, okay? It’s fixed now, obviously.”

“So what was it?”

“Nothing! Jeez, just leave it alone, alright? Cas doesn’t care, I don’t care, why should you care?”

Sam shrugged. “You obviously care, if you won’t even tell me about it. You guys seemed perfectly fine yesterday. Did something happen after I went to bed?”

Dean blushed, and knew that that was answer in itself.

“Aw, was it something embarrassing?” Sam teased.

“Shut up.”

“What, did he hear you moaning his name through the walls with his angelic hearing?” Sam grinned.

Dean felt heat flare up in his face. “No! You know what, fuck you, Sam,” he shot as he turned to leave the room.

Sam got up from his desk to follow his brother. “Hey, Dean, wait! I’m sorry. I was just teasing. It wasn’t anything serious though, right? Like, it wasn’t anything really bad?”

Well, Dean supposed, that would depend. Was finding out that your best friend whom you were quite possibly in love with and most definitely had the hots for was in love with someone else – someone who happened to share his body – “really bad”? Was it “really bad” that you creeped on him masturbating/ making love to said someone else? Or that you accidentally confessed to doing so the next morning after first having lied about it? “Obviously not. We got it sorted pretty quick, right? It was just… a misunderstanding.” Unfortunately, it wasn’t. Dean understood perfectly and all too well. Cas could love. But he didn’t love Dean.

“Alright. Well, that’s good. We should have some lunch pretty soon. Might as well, while we wait, right? Did you even have breakfast?”

“No. Let’s go see what there is.” Dean followed Sam down into the kitchen.

 

Castiel struck bronze faster than he’d thought he would, after only a little over an hour. He had decided to blast as little of the mountain as possible, partly for fear of accidentally disintegrating anything he might find, and partly because it was just too beautiful to warrant such destruction. He kept digging around the site and after another two hours he eventually had what he estimated was enough bronze to construct possibly the blade of a very tiny pocket knife. Once he had manipulated the ore into a sharp point with no real hilt, but a base just large enough to hold, like a pyramid of sorts, he dropped it into one of the pockets of his coat. Then he took it out, deciding it would probably be more secure in the pocket of his slacks. He was about to fly back to the bunker when a high gust of wind echoed off the mountain face. This would be a beautiful place to sing to Jimmy, he suddenly realized. Castiel’s angelic voice would be amplified and reflected back by the glorious sierra and his song would ring out with the force of the mountain’s majesty within Jimmy’s ears. He really should be getting back, though. But he didn’t know when he would next have the opportunity to visit a mountain between helping the Winchesters and fighting Heavenly battles. Besides, his song wasn’t very long, and Jimmy probably wouldn’t mind the short duration of the visit since it was so soon after his last.

 _Hey, Castiel. Miss me already?_ Jimmy was genuinely surprised that Castiel was waking him up again so soon, but he did nothing to try to contain his happiness on the matter. He was also surprised to be standing on one of the jagged ridges of Greece’s tallest mountain. At least, that was where he assumed they were, given Castiel’s last conversation with the Winchesters.

Castiel smiled at the feeling of Jimmy’s happiness blooming inside him. “Hello, Jimmy.” Just as he was about to answer Jimmy’s rhetorical question, another gale resounded off the mountain. “Do you hear that?” he asked instead.

_The wind? Of course._

“And its echo. It’s beautiful, isn’t it. So powerful.”

 _Yes,_ Jimmy agreed. It was quite magnificent. But had Castiel really just awoken him so that he could hear the wind from a mountain?

“How do you think my voice would sound in its place?”

 _Oh. Wow._ Jimmy had not been expecting that, and he knew Castiel could sense his marvel when he felt his face break out into another smile.

“Do you think you would like that?”

 _You know that I would, Castiel._ Jimmy felt himself already hardening, like a conditioned response. It was an odd response to have to a song, when he thought about it, but he figured it had something to do with the differences and similarities between angel and human mating.

Castiel sang to Jimmy, his true voice echoing back in the spaces between the sheer rock faces, intensifying its magnitude and emphasizing the beauty and perfection of his notes as they assailed Jimmy’s senses. When he finished, Jimmy’s mind and body were ablaze with pleasure, and Castiel inwardly commended himself for the idea.

_That was… Wow. Thank you._

“It was just as much my pleasure,” Castiel said humbly. Then, after a few more seconds, he said, almost regretfully, “I have to fly back, now, Jimmy.”

_Oh. You aren’t going to…? I mean, you don’t have to, of course._

It took a second for Castiel to catch on to what Jimmy was trying to say before he remembered what Jimmy had requested the last time Castiel had finished singing to him. “I’m sorry, Jimmy, but I don’t think we have time for that.”

_Oh. Okay. Although, um, you know it can be quick, too, right?_

Castiel tilted his head in confusion.

When Jimmy felt the familiar adjustment of his head, he explained to the obviously confused angel, _We don’t even have to undress. And you can just focus your attention on my… Um, you can just rub me through my pants. If you’re comfortable with it, of course._ Castiel had certainly seemed comfortable with it the last time, but Jimmy still didn’t want to pressure him in any way. Sex was still so new to Castiel.

Castiel nodded his head slowly in understanding, and pressed their hands to their thighs as he bent slightly to massage down their legs as he had last time.

Jimmy laughed as he said, _I appreciate that, Castiel, but if you want to do this quickly, then you should probably move your hands a little higher. Do you remember what you were touching when we finished last night?_

“Oh,” Castiel said in realization as he straightened up. “Yes. I was touching your penis.”

Jimmy blushed slightly as he confirmed, _That’s right. Do you… um, want to do that again?_

“I did enjoy that very much, yes.” Castiel moved their palm against their erection through the two layers of clothing and began to rub. He felt it twitch as he applied more pressure. He felt Jimmy sigh, and as Castiel steadily increased the pace and pressure of his hand, Jimmy’s telling breaths grew more ragged.

_Fuck, yes, Castiel, yes, that’s it, make me come, please. Oh, feels so good. So good, Castiel._

Castiel could feel that they were close, so, anxious for that overwhelming and still foreignly human feeling, he urged, his human voice roughened even further than usual with arousal and need to the point where it sounded almost harsh, “Come, then. Come for me, Jimmy.”

And that was all it took to send Jimmy over the edge, Castiel’s gravel-rough voice commanding him to come, to come _for Castiel._ He felt the pleasure explode through him as it shot out in hot spurts onto the inside of his boxers.

Castiel shot their other hand out to brace their body against the mountain as he felt it tremble in the aftershocks of their intense orgasm, staying still and silent as Jimmy panted, trying to catch his breath and come back down from the intense high.

Unexpectedly, as Jimmy eventually began to regain his equilibrium, his thoughts turned abruptly to the idea of Castiel doing this with someone else. Castiel obviously seemed to like sex, but he never initiated it. But what if someone initiated it with him? Jimmy knew he didn’t really have any right to feel possessive of Castiel, but that didn’t change the fact that he sort of did. Castiel had given Jimmy his virginity – both in the angelic and in the human sense. And while Jimmy took some comfort in the knowledge that as Castiel’s true vessel, he would be the only human to ever be able to mate with Castiel in the way that angels did, it was not sufficient consolation for the knowledge that any human could potentially choose to mate with Castiel in the way that humans did. He thought about Dean, earlier that morning. Castiel hadn’t seemed to indicate an attraction to him, but Jimmy still couldn’t help but wonder what exactly their relationship was like. _Hey, um, Castiel? Can I ask you a bit of a personal question?_

“Of course.”

 _Your – Your friend, Dean, is he – I mean, are you…?_ Jimmy decided to just give up and blurt it out. _Do you feel the same way about him that he does for you?_

Castiel stiffened his back slightly at the unexpected question. Why was Jimmy asking him this? What did it matter to him? The truth was, Castiel didn’t know how he felt about Dean. So he answered honestly, “Dean is my closest friend, aside from you. But, above that, he is my charge. It would hardly be appropriate for me to want him in that way.”

Jimmy responded unthinkingly, _Isn’t it inappropriate for you to want your vessel in such a way?_

Doubt and guilt washed through Castiel. Jimmy had told Castiel that he loved him, and now he was saying that Castiel’s love for him in return was inappropriate? Unwanted? Perhaps he had somewhat of a point, but it was nothing the same. Castiel did not have a duty to protect Jimmy at all costs, to guard him from any dangers that would compromise his existence and therefore interfere with Heaven’s plans for him. Castiel could allow lust and romantic love to cloud his mind when it came to Jimmy, but he could not do that when it came to his mission, his charge. He could not do that when it came to Dean. It would be wrong. Even if romantic involvement with his vessel was perhaps not entirely right or natural, or if it was in some other way taboo, it was not an overt shirking of clear orders in favour of a selfish desire. Instead of addressing Jimmy’s question, Castiel responded coldly to mask his hurt, “I am going to fly back now, Jimmy, whether you’re awake or not. So, decide.”

Jimmy felt hurt by Castiel’s tone and the coldness of his words, especially after what they had just shared. It was then that he realized that he might have hurt Castiel first. _I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. For what it’s worth, I don’t think it’s inappropriate. I love what we have now. I just wondered why it was inappropriate to desire him, but not me. Not that I’m complaining. I’m not saying I want you to want him. I mean, not that it would matter, of course; who you desire is entirely yours to decide. But, I mean, he clearly wants you, and you guys are obviously pretty close, so, I was just curious as to how you felt about him. Again, I’m really sorry, Castiel._

Castiel softened his tone upon hearing Jimmy’s words and explained patiently, “I am bound by my duty to Heaven to protect Dean; if I were to see him as more than a friend, I doubt that I would feel any less inclined to protect him. However, my superiors have already expressed concerns with how close I am to the humans in my charge, namely him. They fear that it is beginning to interfere with my judgment. If I were to become further invested… it would not go over well. Possibly for good reason.”

Jimmy couldn’t help but feel slightly grateful. However, Castiel still hadn’t really answered him. If the obligation to obey was all that Castiel was citing as his reason for being no more than friends with Dean, then did that mean that Castiel felt something more, but dared not act on it? Or was Castiel explaining why he didn’t bother to even entertain the thought?

“I really do have to get back, Jimmy,” Castiel said gently, almost apologetically, interrupting Jimmy’s ponderings.

_Okay, Castiel. Thank you for waking me for this experience; it was a really great idea. I’ll see you again soon?_

“I will see you again, Jimmy, but I’m not sure how soon. Hopefully it won’t be too long.”

_Okay. I love you._

Castiel smiled, reassured that Jimmy was comfortable with what they now shared, and responded, “I love you, too,” before putting Jimmy back to sleep and disappearing from the mountain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is partly underway, and in it, things pick up a bit, and some questions are resolved, while new ones also emerge.


End file.
